Communicating with Your Family
Communicating with Your Family
PrintWhen you have ulcerative colitis, it’s normal to feel alone and frustrated. But remember, despite the private and humbling symptoms, you are not alone. More than half a million Americans have this condition. And those closest to you don't want to see you suffer in silence. They can help you cope with ulcerative colitis and improve the time you spend together. But they may not always know how or when to give you support.
So talk to your family members and those who care about you. Explain what you're going through. Together, you can decide how they can help you manage ulcerative colitis. Here are a few important points to help you share your condition with your family:
UC Is a Family Affair
Telling family and friends about your ulcerative colitis helps them become active members of your support team. Let everyone know that their support is needed and appreciated.
Remember: UC Impacts Everyone Differently
A flare-up may interrupt travel or holiday plans. Your kids may be upset that you’re not marching in the parade or sitting in the audience for the school play. The people around you may be disappointed. Allow them to express their feelings.
Make Times for Discussions
Establish weekly or monthly meeting times with your family, centered on something fun, such as dinner or games. Have your discussion after dinner or after the activity and ensure that everyone has a chance to talk and express their feelings.
Allow Yourself to Share
Those who share their challenges and/or burdens often find it easier to handle their disease. In order to make it through the seemingly endless tunnel of this illness, it’s important to rely on others, such as a spouse, a parent, another close family member, or a friend. It also could be a doctor or a CCFA support group that can make a difference.
Financial Issues
In some cases, ulcerative colitis patients cannot work full time. If you fall into this category, discuss financial issues together as a family and come to a mutually agreeable solution. If you address the issue early, you and your family will be prepared if a problem arises.
Consider Counseling
Sometimes family ties become strained. Counseling is a positive option for many family problems, including chronic illness. It can give family members the chance to bring up issues such as anger, fear, and depression, and ensure that they are addressed as a family.
In the End, It Begins with You
You will learn that recovery starts with you. The more honest you are about your condition, the more comfortable others will be. You may be surprised at how receptive and supportive friends and family can be. By talking about it, you might relieve some of your stress, and others will know how they can help you in the event of a flare-up. Loved ones can help you remember to take your medication, and will keep your condition in mind when it comes to planning social activities.
Explaining UC to Kids
When talking with kids about your condition, consider having the entire family present. This tells kids that the family is in this together and that Mom, Dad, and their other siblings will be there to support and take care of them. Follow your child’s lead. Kids, by nature, are curious. By following their questions, you can make sure you do not give too much or too little information. It’s also a good idea, depending on the age of the child, to avoid frightening words such as “disease.” Kid-friendly words such as “illness” or even “tummyache” may help you educate children without frightening them.
There may be times when illness requires treatment away from home. By planning for this time, you can help your kids feel your presence. Some parents even write notes or create gifts their kids can open on the away days. Leaving a little piece of you behind while you’re away will go a long way with kids. Calling home every day is a good idea, too.
Want to Help Your Friend?
If you want to help a friend suffering from ulcerative colitis, the smallest gestures of encouragement can mean so much. Never underestimate the power and support your words of encouragement can have on someone. The smallest attempt can have a major impact, and your kindness will not be forgotten.
